Talking about the Dog

Our Dog. Our dog who was our fur-baby before we had real babies, who sleeps on our bed and who thinks he's human, eats better than we do. Dog eats dog food from Whole foods. When we got him the very first time he had his puppy vaccinations, his puppy face swelled up 'til his eyes were two tiny slits in his head and his jowls looked like they had baseballs in them. I sobbed and cried for what I did to him and slept with him at my side all night, hoping the Benadryl would bring him back to me. I walked Dog every day. I carefully brushed his little teeth and could not imagine loving anything or anybody more.

Dog has issues.

Dog has allergies to vaccinations, wheat, grass, and leaves. Dog is allergic to hypo-allergenic food. Benadryl, allergy meds and steroids have no effect on Dog. Except they make him hungrier.

Since I've had my own kids, all I want to do is kick Dog in the ass.

The only dog food Dog can tolerate without chewing his paws till they are a bloody pulp and licking them soaking wet so the carpet smells is that dog food. So I do want to thank Whole foods for making it only $12 a bag.

I do love Dog. Dog is a good dog. He's great with the kids, he is loving, he is sweet, he curls up next to me and cuddles. But he also makes my carpet smell. He fills my yard with of poop so we step on it. He barks when Little baby is napping. He eats the kids plastic toys so that not only am I constantly picking up little bits and pieces from the floor but I am stepping on them in my bare feet at 3 am and then hoping they pass so that we don't end up with a $1000 vet bill.

Did I mention Dog has a $700 limit.

Dog. I love you, but chew on that.